Once upon a time, before the current administration, only God knew what your government now knows--your shame, your guilt, your weakness, your doubt, your beliefs, your political bent:
how you borrowed money from your sister again to keep from losing your home;
how you omitted your kidney problem from the pre-existing conditions you listed on your insurance application;
how you failed to report thousands in tips on your income tax return;
how you exchange romantic e-mails with a man who isn’t your husband;
how you and a dozen others held a candlelight vigil, trying to prevent the invasion of Iraq;
how you saved more than 70% by faxing your prescription to Canada;
how your auto insurance was canceled when you got a second speeding ticket;
how your family has a history of schizophrenia;
how you tried to form a union at the plant, before they closed down and moved over to Taiwan;
how you think “The Emperor’s New Clothes” is a paradigm for our time;
how you took those earrings you always wanted when your aunt was placed in a nursing home;
how you used your credit card to donate to MoveOn.org;
how you had a crush on someone of the same sex when you were a high school sophomore;
how your purchases of whiskey and vodka have been on the rise;
how you squandered your house payment on lottery tickets;
how you unhooked the odometer on your pickup;
how you were molested by your uncle when you were eight;
how you thank your Higher Power that your brain still works after all the coke you’ve snorted up your nose;
how the police have responded to three domestic disturbance calls at your house within the past six months;
how your taste in library books runs toward left-wing politics;
how you despise televangelists for worshipping success;
how you have prescriptions for painkillers from four different doctors;
how you downloaded photos of women wearing latex boots and fishnet tops;
how you donated fifty bucks to Ron Paul’s campaign;
how your daughter was caught shoplifting at the mall;
how you had two abortions before you turned 21;
how you lie to your wife to conceal your gambling addiction;
how you printed out instructions on anal sex;
how you keep a folder for “election fraud” on your hard drive;
how you tried to commit suicide by cutting your wrists;
how your herpes infection dates back to your high school years;
how you’re outraged that our government tortures;
how you support the right of gays and lesbians to teach, preach, marry, and be ordinary;
how you maintain a small arsenal of automatic and semi-automatic firearms, along with thousands of rounds of ammunition;
how you’ve upped your contributions to Emily’s List, the ACLU, Amnesty International, and the Environmental Defense Fund;
how you hide a baggie of grass in a shoebox in your closet;
how you check out the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue online when you get bored;
how you have Googlle Alert send you articles on impeachment;
how your orders from NetFlix are heavily weighted toward “R” ratings;
how you harbor a persistent fear that the cancer that killed your sister is lurking in your cells, waiting to claim you as well;
how you have two books overdue, both on global warming;
how you ranted that the Patriot Act spits on the nation’s spirit;
how you spend your paycheck, every transaction on your credit card and in your bank account laid as bare as Judgment Day;
how your psychiatrist keeps tweaking your medication, trying to allay your depression;
how your calls to your AA sponsor show increasing desperation;
how what terrifies you is the War on Terror;
how your doctor is treating you for impotence, insomnia, high blood pressure, and possible paranoia.
© Tony Russell, 2008
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